Oh my soul!

The Other Room

Remember yourself as a young child.  Picture yourself being held by your mother, all warm in her arms, just soaking up all the lovely love emanating from her to you.  Maybe she's sweeping your bangs out from your eyes, or sharing popcorn with you, or listening to you tell a jumbled story about how you like the railing on Grandma's staircase better than the one at preschool (...?).  All the while, she is just radiating maternal love without even knowing it.

Now imagine she has to go to the next room to do something.  Did that lovely love disappear?  Or is she still loving you, her adorable little tot (who is now shredding toilet paper or dumping all the crayons on the floor without her seeing), just as much from the next room?  What if she goes into the kitchen?  Is her love for you less now?  What if she goes to visit the neighbor, to the grocery store, on a business trip...are you still loved as much?  Of course, you're not getting as much of her attention or affection.  You're not in the same place, not making her laugh, not making her yell when she finds you filling her good copper pot with puddlewater and rocks from the yard.  Her love is there, though, where she is and where you are.

This can be difficult to understand when we're very young.  We have all been or seen children who get panicked when their mother is no longer in view, or cry when a babysitter stays in her stead.  Eventually, slowly, we understand that she is still our mother and still loves us, even from afar where we can't see her.

We learn this twice in life.  Once as children, physically clinging around the ankle of whomever we are afraid will leave the room and disappear forever.  Again as adults, emotionally clinging to the physical presence of those we love, afraid afraid afraid that they will disappear into death.  When faced with the end of someone's life, we fill with terror.  Why?  How could love end with the life of a body?  Love is not contained in our bodies.  It does not actually reside in our heart.  Love does not exist in our brains, either; love is much more than a thought or a happy serotonin rush.  We already love from a place outside of our bodies --a place which isn't a place at all.

Memories, affection, shared laughter --it's possible that these will diminish after a person passes away.  But what are these things if not expressions of love?  Remember that the love of your family did not diminish when you were in separate rooms.  And it will not diminish, either, when you live in separate worlds. 

Consciousness Illustrated

What is consciousness?  How do you define it?

Take this creative visual survey and compose your answer.  You can choose to be notified of the aggregate results, which should be interesting!

The difference between "busy" and "stressed"

The second coffee of the day is buzzing through my veins.  I am watching the clock, holding my breath.  I am imagining the doom which will fall upon me if this work situation turns out badly.  There doesn't seem to be enough time.  I will look like an idiot if I screw this up.  I should have done it differently.  I hate this.   Ugh, my phone won't stop ringing.  I can't handle it all in one day.   No, I don't have a minute to show you how to open an email attachment, coworker!  My job is on the line here!  (reaching for a box of Girl Scout cookies)  This is me having a "stressful" day at work.

What's the difference between this scenario and a "busy" day at work?  A busy day means I have a lot to do and I'm working at a quick pace to get it all done.  For me, a busy day becomes a stressful day once my ego takes charge of it.  "If I don't do this well, my boss will think I'm incompetent" or "I need to get this report sent or my client will call my boss and ask her to take me off the account."

Subsequently, "It would be terrible and career-shattering and ego-crushing if my boss thinks I'm incompetent/I'm taken off the account."  In other words, the present situation is threatening my sense of identity and my ego is afraid of that.  So it pumps cortisol and Thin Mints through my body, day-nightmares about the failure, and conjures up all the emotions associated with the imaginary destruction of life as I know it.

We need [di]stress occasionally.  Distress provides us with chemicals to get our body into fight or flight mode, as was necessary for our ancestors when being chased by hungry saber toothed tigers.  But our ego tricks our body into thinking that failure to get the monthly financial report out is as life-threatening as being hunted by a fanged and famished feline. 

We sure can be gullible.  And it's exhausting.  I'm sure you have heard plenty of clinical study results confirming that the frequent distress in our modern lifestyles takes a devastating toll on our bodies.

The next time I'm stressed, I'm going to ask: who or what is distressed right now?  Is that which I really am going to be affected by whatever the outcome of this situation is?  Even assuming this situation results in losing my job, destroying my professional reputation, losing my house and baking dish collection, and living in a box down by the river, I will ask again: is the essence of what I am able to be affected by this external situation?  No.  (Hint: the answer is always "no.")  What I really am has been here all along, in every situation I have experienced.  Therefore, there is no need to worry and emit cortisol because of any other situation.  Ever.  Except for when evading tigers or rival gangs or an anvil falling from the sky.

Of course, my ego and identity won't be very happy with the idea of sleeping under a bridge (which typically isn't a significant possibility in daily stressful situations), so they are fretting over the situation.  Let's take control back.  Treat your ego like the dunce it is and send it to the corner for time out.  Once the ego is not in control, you can use your mind without the fog of distress, which means you will be able to think much more clearly, calmly, and objectively.

Step back when you feel distress, ask what exactly it is that is stressed, and when you find out that it's just your ego being a ninny, tell it that you'll take over from here.  You can handle any situation better when you are present, free from worry about an outcome, and working through it without the ego's useless distress.

 

Energetic Space

I was in Salt Lake City for the first time this week.  I drove through a good portion of central Salt Lake--and some residential and industrial areas, as I am prone to getting lost-- and interacted with about two hundred people at my meeting.   To describe Salt Lake City:  pristine, friendly, family-oriented, obedient, secure, small town.  But beside the impression of the place and its people, I can also get an impression of the place's energy.  Have you ever felt like a place had a different "feel" to it than you were used to?  I would describe Salt Lake City's energy as bright and innocent on the surface with a darker undercurrent of fear.  It was a bit strange.

I live in Denver now, and when I travel back home to Cleveland, I always feel a definite difference in the energy.  When I go to Cleveland, everything feels heavier, more tense, more negative in contrast to Denver which feels lighter and less intense.  Manhattan feels different from Minneapolis, which feels different from Missoula and Madrid.  It's not just geography and culture; it's energy.  It's a feeling.

Have you ever felt this, or am I just a nutcase?  Assuming you have sensed these differences, you may have noticed that the different energy affected you.  Perhaps you went to a new place and felt dragged down by it, or inexplicably peaceful, or totally creeped out.  The same happens with people.

What energy do you emanate to those who are with you?  When someone is in your presence, what is your environment like?  I bet you have known people who you are drawn to because of how joyful or calm you feel near them.  I bet you have also known people who litter their space with negativity and bring your mood down.  Maybe you have even felt like someone was an energetic black hole and sucked the life out of anyone in a ten foot radius (see the kooky Australian Amanda Gore, who has made thousands of business conference-goers uncomfortable and giggly, speak about energy vampires).

Of course you can still reach nirvana from a devastated rust belt town or feel depressed around Robin Williams (people still like him, right?), but some places and people are more conducive to peace than others.  Think of the place where you have felt the most at peace or positive or joyful.  Ask yourself how you can recreate that environment within and around you.  How can you build a little bubble of space around you where you feel good to be in?  Can you tell negative thoughts they are unwelcome?  Choose to not give energy to complaining? Protect your space from people who drain you?  Can you smile if it makes you feel happy?  Can you give a boost to someone else's energy? 

If I were to reside in an inner space of peace, I could take it with me anywhere and share it with everyone.  I'm working on this because I know that I'll be in this space for every second of the rest of my life.  Notice what your space is like and see if you want to clean it up.  Create some energetic space that you and others love to hang out in.

The Worst Possible Scenario

"Don't worry!"   It's harder than it sounds.

Have you ever been stuck in a fury of worry?  Most of us at some point have obsessive, negative thoughts about the future.  That's what worry is.  To me, it means putting all your attention into the future instead of the present and seeing the future through a very gloomy lens instead of clarity.

Imagine that your company is going through layoffs and you're worried that you will not have a job by Friday. You envision your boss calling you into her office to break the news.  You imagine your heart plummeting to the floor, telling your family, their panic, your despair.  You visualize scrounging for quarters under the sofa cushions to buy ramen noodles with double coupons.  You imagine the feeling of ineptitude as you fruitlessly search for a new job, the disappointment in your children's eyes as you tell them you can't afford their polo lessons anymore, finding your partner in a puddle of tears on the bathroom floor...

How does your body react to this kind of worry?  Maybe your heart is racing, your chest is tight, you feel the stress buzzing through your system but are simultaneously exhausted.  So your body is reacting to the worry, your mind is not paying attention to anything but the worry, and your spirit feels crushed.  Worry sucks.

Stop.  Try this.  Set aside a few minutes to imagine The Worst Possible Scenario.  Commit to really diving deep for a few moments.  Conjure up your tale of woe and all its implications for your life situation.  Can you make the scenario any worse?  Then go for it. 

Now ask yourself: am I ok?  Put down Debbie Downer's foggy lens of negativity.  In this, The Worst Possible Scenario, am I ok?  Did I survive?  In the layoff scenario, are you still able to buy your family ketchup sandwiches, even if it means you have to temporarily flip veggieburgers at the cafe where all the emo high school kids loiter?  Can you still experience joy? love?  inner peace?  Can you still improve your situation?  Yes, yes, I know you just lost your job and potentially have been set back in your career.  But is your life intact?  I bet so.  The Worst Possible Scenario is survivable.  I am not claiming you will prefer it over The Best Possible Scenario, or that it would be easy to get back to a happy place, but it would be ok.  It's even possible that it would not be as bad as your wildly creative mind thought.  It's even possible that The Worst Possible Scenario could be the catalyst for a life better than what you ever imagined.

What if your Worst Possible Scenario is death?  Do you know that it would be a negative experience?  After you died, would you be able to suffer any longer?  Would your spirit vanish or just move somewhere else?  Would your loved ones still feel your love?  Besides your body dying, can you know for sure that your soul won't carry on?  Just see whether this scenario --over which you may have no control-- is as bad as you imagine when you really let it sit there and look through a clear lens.  It would be ok, if for no other reason than because you can't really be not ok about death once you're dead.  ha!  And death is inevitable for all of us who are human.

Once you have made the difficult journey into The Worst Possible Scenario and realize it would all be ok, that necessarily means that all scenarios would turn out ok.  The second worst scenario, and the twentieth worst scenario (wow, you really went wild!)...yep, those would all be ok.  Ergo, any and all imaginable situations would be ok.  Whatever was the worst thing that happened in your past, you are here regardless of it.  It was ok.

Explore the deepest part of your anxiety inferno so that you can gain some perspective.  It is really difficult for me to find peace when I am engulfed in mental agony.  I know deep down that I could escape it at any time through connecting to the present moment, but sometimes that seems impossible.  For those times, I wonder if you could try first diving into The Worst Possible Scenario, seeing if that scenario would be ok (be honest about this...you will always be ok, and you can cope with any scenario), and then focusing your attention back to the only place that matters: the present moment.  Worry cannot survive there.

Emergency!

Rest.  Our bodies, minds, and spirits need time to rest.  It's natural to have ups and downs in energy, inspiration, progress, and so on.  We need down time to repair ourselves, to reflect, to recharge.  Down time can even force itself on us if we resist it, like when we are overly stressed at work and we catch a cold --it's a sign to slow down.  We need that.  It does not indicate failure, but merely is part of a cycle.

What if you hang onto your down time too long, or your down time becomes too negative, and it feels more like being stuck in a rut?

Do you have a plan to get out of it?  ...Yeah, neither do I.  But I'm developing my plan(s) now.  The time to stock up on groceries, candles, water, and Jello shot supplies is while the sun is still out, before the emergency weather situation.  You can't run out to Target for cereal in the middle of an ice storm.

What kind of rut do you need an emergency plan for?  Maybe you are on a fitness kick right now and love it.  You have that endorphin high, your skinny jeans fit, and you are constantly developing the best playlist for your next workout.  Before this, there was likely a time when the only exercise you got was wrestling yourself into jeans.  Consider whether it is possible for that rut to happen again (hint: it's possible) and make a plan to get out of it after you've recuperated and finished a barrel of cheese puffs.  Make a list of tactics to escape the rut --an emergency plan.  Maybe running in the best park in the city always puts you in a peppy mood.  Add that to your list.  Add re-reading the workout diary entry after you finally bench pressed your roommate, wearing Spandex and listening to "Let's Get Physical," getting a massage to remind yourself that you have a body, or splurging on a trainer session.  Write down whatever will help you get back on track to what you love when it's difficult to remember how.

This goes for spiritual ruts, too.  When I'm in a spiritual rut, I am negative and focused on the little dramas of life, unable to see the bigger picture.  It's miserable!  Do you have a plan in case this happens to you?  Remember a time when you felt the most spiritually healthy, the most connected to God or the universe.  Explore your memory a bit and find some things to put in your spiritual emergency plan. What reminds you of your spirit?  What makes you feel connected?  What helps you to feel peaceful?  What calms you?  What makes you burst with joy?  Some ideas I have for myself are:

• Taking a REALLY slow deep breath
• Making plans with a friend who has a great attitude
• Reading a quote I love
• Helping someone without expecting anything in return
• Going to a yoga class
• Looking back in my journal to times when I felt peaceful
• Listening to calming music while doing nothing else
• Re-reading a book which has brought me insight
• Hanging out with a pup
• Listening to a guided meditation (...possibly napping)
• Writing in my journal in a coffeeshop with all the emo kids
• Repeating a phrase or mantra which fits the way I want to feel

Be gentle with yourself.  Be honest if you need time to rest from exercise, or coast a while in your career, or gently observe instead of pushing pushing pushing for action all the time.  Also ask yourself if what you see as a "rut" is really a bigger issue you need more help with.  But be truthful if you have fallen into this rut and escaping has just seemed too hard to make you budge.  Make a plan to make your next escape easier. 

My name is Stephanie, and I'm a thoughtaholic.

Are you addicted to thinking?

(You might have to think about that one.)

Being addicted to some substance or behavior means you have a compulsive, uncontrollable dependence on it.   How many times have you seen smokers outside an office building while it's snowy and windy?  If they could truly stop using nicotine whenever they felt like it, smoking would be a three-season activity.

Can you stop thinking?  Try it.  Sit with your eyes closed and watch for the next thought.  Wait for it...it won't take long...maybe it's "I want Taco Bell" or "This is stupid" or "I wonder if these tights make my cankles look fat."  Where did that thought come from?!  Did you invite it in?  Did you willingly compose the thought?  Did you control whether it crossed your mind or not? 

The thought didn't come from you, did it?  It came out of nowhere; it came from the blankness of your awareness; it floated in and floated out.  The true observant you was watching for the thoughts to come, but was separate from those thoughts.  This contradicts our common belief that we are thinking our thoughts.

 If you can't stop thinking any time you want, and you are compelled to have thoughts without willing them, that seems like an addiction, right?  Even worse, if the stronger character in this bizarre scenario is that thought-machine, then you are not in control.  You are being overpowered.

The mind can be a useful tool, one you control and utilize in a way that serves you.  I have found that instead of using my mind as a tool,  my mind is controlling me and using me as a subservient  thought-trafficking addict.  It's a little creepy, right?   Take back control!  Try "watching the thinker" more often, as Eckart Tolle describes in The Power of Now:

"So when you listen to a thought, you are aware not only of the thought but also of yourself as the witness of the thought [...] As you listen to the thought, you feel a conscious presence - your deeper self - behind or underneath the thought, as it were. The thought then loses its power over you and quickly subsides, because you are no longer energizing the mind through identification with it. This is the beginning of the end of involuntary and compulsive thinking. When a thought subsides, you experience a discontinuity in the mental stream - a gap of "no-mind." At first, the gaps will be short, a few seconds perhaps, but gradually they will become longer. When these gaps occur, you feel a certain stillness and peace inside you. " 

Those tiny gaps of "no-mind" are pretty hip places to hang out in.  They're calm, peaceful, and free of thought provoked issues.  I've been lounging around the gap more often as I recognize that the conga line of thoughts in my mind is separate from my awareness or my true self.  You're invited, too.

Am I meditating yet?

Reading books on spirituality practices for a couple years led me to believe that I understood how to meditate.  That belief shattered when I truly meditated for the first time, which was a short five minute experience. It is extremely difficult to calm a torrent of thoughts which has always been allowed to run amok.  It is also hard to sit still and just observe oneself.  I couldn't sustain anything resembling that for more than three seconds.  Approximately 78% of my meditation attempts ended in naps.  I'm so good at sleeping.

There were lots of issues with my perception of meditation:

• Meditating is not an activity to do.  You may set aside time and sit down to meditate, but you can meditate anywhere at anytime, unless you are on Jeopardy! or trying to decipher the passcode which will turn off a bomb.  Thoughts are useful at such times.
• Meditation is not just a Buddhist or "Eastern" tradition.  All major religions involve a form of meditation in some way.  It is a practice common among many traditions to come closer to God or consciousness.
• Meditation requires being conscious.  Naps don't count; however, trying and falling asleep is  better than not trying.
• Meditation is not owned by monks and weirdos.  Anyone can meditate without burning patchouli incense, chanting Sanskrit mantras, or wearing a robe woven from hemp and granola.  Meditation does not belong to a certain type of person any more than blinking does.

Still, meditation can seem intimidating.  What is the essence of meditation?  As I understand it, it means to be completely in the present moment.  Of course, some people meditate on an image or word, some use it as a portal to the unconscious, some use it to levitate and fly across town to grab lunch.  The meditation I am working on entails nothing more than being present, which is extremely challenging.

Since I am definitely a beginner at this, I thought I would share some ideas which would help at my level:

• Try taking one slow breath in and out, focusing all your attention there.  Put your hand on your belly, feel it rise with the inhale, feel the pause at the top, feel the slow exhale.  You're done.  Do it again whenever you remember.
• Did thoughts creep in about your belly or your wheezing or snacktime during your one breath?  Whatever.  There is no failure in meditation.  How about trying to set aside three minutes to be quiet and watch One Conscious Breath with Eckhart Tolle?  Try to concentrate on the sound of his voice and his goofy face of joy.  You may notice thoughts like, "Is his sweater made of angel fur?" or "What accent is that?" or "He looks like a cartoon."  Take those as a signal to re-focus on the video instead of your thoughts.
• Set a timer for five minutes.  Relax and take some slow breaths.  Now sit in one place and look around you.  Notice each object in the room.  About each object, notice color, shape, and texture without judging.  Notice how each part of your body feels in the chair or on the floor.  Notice any sounds.  Notice anything you smell.  Continue to soak in your surroundings.  If you linger on a thought about that rug you looked at a second ago and how it needs to be washed, you are not present.  If you have a thought about yesterday or tomorrow, you are not present.  If you have a thought about one second ago, or one second from now, you are not present.  Any thought that comes by, note whether it is about any point in the past or future, and let it float away if so.  Focus your attention only on your present surroundings until the timer rings.
• The idea above was similar to my first successful meditation experience.  It was on Day 1 of the inaugural 21 Day Meditation Challenge through the Chopra Center.  A new Challenge is beginning on January 24, 2011.  You can sign up here for free; I did! I highly recommend this because a new guided meditation audio link will be emailed to you each day.  You can make an effort to just sit and listen and do your best with it.  The guide, davidji, is pretty silly and delightful.  Just go with it.

There's a lot of fuss being made about meditation these days, and rightly so, because there are great benefits available through the practice.  But meditation is not a fussy thing.  Try it even for one breath and yes, you will be meditating.

Rush hour

The car in front of me won't pull up from the left turn lane into the intersection to catch that sweet spot between yellow and red lights, which means I won't be able to piggyback onto any orangish light manuever, which means I will be two minutes later than I already am.  Tension turns to a hot, bubbling anger.  I spew some sailor's cuss word and an exclamation of woe and contempt.  I tap tap tap the steering wheel with my hands waiting and waiting for the arrow, and if that car in front of me doesn't get a move on immediately, the heat of irritation will rise again from my insides, and I will shout.  If I'm feeling particularly midwestern and emboldened behind the steely mask of my car, I might even honk.

And I might shout obscenities again when that old lady in the Buick pulls out in front of me, as if she is in a hurry racing at 23 mph to reach the grocery store (where she will probably also be in my way and waddle in front of me with thirty items and pay with a personal check).  And so on.

Traffic is a challenge for me, spiritually.

Did that car in front of me at the light hear me shout "Are you kidding me?  Grow a pair!  Pull up!  Come on!"  Was that granny at all affected by my hollering of unladylike comments?  Even if I honked, can I know that she realized the honk was for her?  Can I know that she recognized what she did to offend me, or that she would feel remorse?  Can I guarantee that she wouldn't feel justified to honk and yell in return?  No.

The truth is that all my honking and hooting and huffing has absolutely no effect on my traffic neighbors.  No effect.  They are not going to be served justice.  They are not vowing to drive better next time.  They are not shouting apologies out of their windows.  They aren't feeling any different because of my irritation.  They are listening to Phil Collins, wondering if it will rain, and ignoring my existence. 

The truth also is that it really does affect me.  I feel physically tense.  I am enraged.  I hear terrible words blast from my mouth.  I will arrive at my destination completely exasperated and negative. 

Do you do this, too?  I'm not just talking about futile road rage.  Do you accidentally make yourself suffer in response to what other people do?  Do you think that your reactions directly affect others', or that you can control how people react to you?  I wonder if you've ever let your annoyance with coworkers ruin your day while they carry on without your baggage.  I wonder if you have held an exhausting grudge against a relative only to find her oblivious to any issue between the two of you.  I wonder if you have altered your behavior in any way that makes you suffer while thinking that you will have some effect on another person.

It is so draining, isn't it?   My rush hour cussing exhausts me, not the annoying drivers. 

What if we let that kind of thing go?  You might respond and say, "That's not fair!  I won't be passive and let whatever happens to me slide.  I can't be a doormat in life and allow everyone stomp all over me. "  Is it really that slow Subaru driver stomping all over you, or is it your ego?  Are you forcing yourself to suffer by self-stomping, while tricking yourself into thinking someone else will feel it instead?  I know that's the case for me in traffic, or whenever I think something negative about another person.  At first, it appears like I am punishing the other person.  In the end, I am the one who suffers.  Even if I were to make the other person agonize, I might end up feeling bad about being so harsh and suffer again from guilt!

Next time you feel upset because of what someone else does, consider whether you will benefit from letting it go.  A car may get away with cutting you off, but you will retain a sense of peace.  Use the energy you would have retailiated with to instead defend your own peace. 

Beginning

Isn't it true that many beginnings begin without you recognizing them until afterward?

So often for me, beginnings have been made of subtle changes that can only be mentally conglomerated in hindsight.  Sometimes I reflect back and realize, "oh that's when it all started" or "I guess it all began with..."

Why then do we seem to imagine that the grand opening, the brand new day, the shotgun start will be our beginning when we plan for a change?  I, for example, set a goal to start a writing habit.  I planned that January 1 would be the day when I made my first blog entry.  I would sit down and write an inaugural post about the commencement of this new year and this new blog; it would be so crisply fresh with newness!  Day 1, post 1!

You might have noticed that today is January 9.  For eight days, I have cowered away from the Big Deal Beginning.  Actually, it has been almost four years since I have written regularly, so this Big Deal BEGINNING has been not-beginning for quite a while.  Honestly, I am scared of writing again.  As with most worthwhile changes we can make, I am terrified of failing --or worse, of half-failing-- and of not living up to my own or others' expections.  Laziness is also a factor, let's be honest.  I thought a Big Deal Beginning would motivate me to start and hold me accountable despite all this, but it instead made me back up into a corner and close my eyes.

Did you make new year's resolutions?  Did you vow to be more peaceful, more tidy, more patient, more full of vegetables as of January 1?  Did you start that day?  If so, are you still going at 100%?  Do you think you will still be doing x, y, or z in a month?  If you are struggling with your beginning, let me share how I just started mine.  I was sitting on my couch, staring off in the distance wondering what to do next after perusing a cooking magazine.  I got a tiny jolt of motivation to write.  Whoosh!  So instead of giving fear time to sink in, I rushed over to the computer and began typing in this box.   I have no idea if this will end well.

Stop being such a hardass about whatever it is you want to change, is what I say.  Too-great expectations can lead you to paralysis instead of action.   When you think of one miniscule move to make which is aligned with your goal, try it.  I was just reading about this idea in Martha Beck's The Joy Diet.  She suggests looking at your Big Picture with both "eagle vision" to see long term strategy and "mouse vision" to see absolutely no further than what is right in front of your nose.  Whatever your goal is, there is something  the "mousy" you can do in this moment (yes, this one!) to align your day better with your big intention.  Do you want to be a peaceful person?  Wow, that's a wildly unspecific and incredibly daunting goal.  Well, what could you do in this very moment to align your day with that goal?  I bet you could take three slow breaths with your eyes closed.  I bet you could set out everything you need for work tomorrow so you aren't scrambling around like a maniac tomorrow morning.  I bet you could remember a time you felt peaceful and relive it in a thirty second daydream. I bet you could take the quiet backroads instead of subjecting your mood to rush hour on the highway.

Any one of those tiny mousy acts does not make for a glamorous beginning to a newly peaceful lifetime.  But as you complete any of those tiny mousy acts, you are in that moment fulfilling your goal!  You have not only begun, but you are instantly acting in alignment with the change you want.  Instantly!  You were a peaceful person as soon as you closed your eyes and breathed, or whatever mousy action you took.  I am not sure you would have such surprising immediate success if you announced that as of [arbritary date] you would dive feet first into being a peaceful person for the rest of your life.

Fifty minutes ago, the mousy me got up from the couch and began typing in a blank box on my computer screen.  Thus began my new writing habit.  Thus I completed my goal of being a writer.  I feel that these tiny acts of effort are best for goals which are so near our heart that we feel lots of emotion around them.  Find a mousy action to take the smallest mouse-sized step into your goal, feel how great it is to already be the change you desired, and act in another mousy way tomorrow.  Soon you will see from the heights of eagle vision that you have become a changed person, and you may not even be able to remember exactly how it all began.